–Real-life nice guys are the men you meet who aren’t looking for accolades for doing what’s right.
They’ll slow down for a turtle crossing the road, even if nobody’s watching.
I tried to be a better man than the other men in her past. I slowly began to see how my “Nice Guy” behavior was not only not getting me what I wanted in my relationship, it was actually doing great damage. Glover had followed me around for 30 years documenting my life story.
In spite of everything I did for her, it never seemed enough. She was frequently moody and would lash out at me, seemingly without provocation. I avoided conflict and withheld any information – including my feelings and wants – that I thought might rock the boat or start a fight. When it became apparent that our relationship wasn’t working well for either of us, I decided (actually, she gave me an ultimatum, “Go to counseling or I’m leaving.”) to join a men’s group and get some counseling.
Of course, an overly romantic gesture on a first, second, or even third date would come off as creepy—no argument there.
But why, then, when a man simply says I like you, does his girl become less attracted to him?
They’ll ask the person serving their coffee how their day is going, and they’ll genuinely want to know.
I always heard that “nice guys finish last,” and that in order to be attractive, you needed to act like a jerk because — supposedly — women secretly love men who mistreat them (even if they tell you otherwise). If someone calls themselves “nice,” you ought to take that with a grain of salt.
To them, relationships with women are transactional.
He treats her like a friend by being close to her, being supportive, or doing favors for her.
I was passive aggressive – expressing my pent up feelings and resentments in “humor,” put downs, sarcasm, and backhanded jabs.
It was like I was trying to navigate my away around Seattle with a map of San Francisco. I originally purchased the book out of curiosity more than anything else but, WOW! Nice Guy' every time you see it in the book with my name and you would be pretty accurate.